Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Freedom through Surrender. The Day I became a Mom.

Every year this day I can't help but reflect on how my life changed forever the day I found out I was about to become a mom. I had just turned 16, discovered I was pregnant and was completely devastated. I remember feeling so overwhelmed and inadequate to care for a baby. I wasn’t one of those girls who dreamt about one day having children. It seemed like such a mistake and my first reaction was to try and make the “problem” disappear. To be brutally honest, Abortion and Suicide crossed my mind. And for some, those are real options but for me deep down I knew they weren’t. I knew the TRUTH in my heart and that was that every life is a gift and that everything happens for a reason and that ultimately if I chose to end a life, I would have blood on my hands and experience even greater consequences and pain than if I choose to take responsibility for my actions, to step up and become a mom and put myself second for the first time in my life.

For me it was about surrendering control. I had in my mind what I thought my life would look like and I was determined to get there my own way. I had disregarded the spiritual and physical laws of the universe that were set in place by God himself. For some crazy reason I thought I knew better than Him.

Have you ever felt that way? Be honest with yourself.

Surrendering control felt like letting go of all the dreams, desires and hopes I had for my future. But let me tell you...not everything is as it seems. After making that decision, I quickly realized that God was really just waiting for me turn my face to His... to see the Love in His eyes that He had for me. That He knew me better than I knew myself and that he put those big dreams and desires in my heart and knew they could not be fulfilled without me choosing to trust him. Written in His word it actually says that he takes delight in giving us the desires of our hearts when we submit our way to Him. It’s the exact opposite of what I thought.

I can not even begin to explain the JOY and the FREEDOM I felt once I finally I surrendered myself to God and decided to trust that His way just might be better than mine. I was on a spiritual high for 9 months straight -- no word of a lie.

I sure didn’t expect that.

You see, I grew up believing that when I did “bad things” I deserved to be punished. End of story. 

I somehow missed the part about the God of the Universe being full of Love, Mercy and Grace.  That He loved me just like a mother loves her baby and would do anything for it. That yes, there will always be consequences for our actions, good or bad, but that through surrender comes hope and healing...He exchanges beauty for ashes and Joy for Sorrow. Wow!

Is there something that is holding you back from surrendering your life to God? Who do you believe God is and what do you think He thinks about you? I speak from experience when I say that the negative things you think about God are set there is your mind to keep you from having the deepest parts of your heart healed and desires met--ultimately they are there to keep you separated from Him forever.

I am taking a chance at being really raw and vulnerable with my story in hopes of it inspiring you in whatever place you are at in your life right now. I first became a mother 17 years ago and what a journey it has been.God has blessed me with 3 more children since then! I have made my fair share of mistakes along the way but still God has been faithful to His promises to no only make up for my inadequacies but give me a life of joy, freedom and hope. 

Today, my first born son turns 17. That is so surreal for me to even think about. I am beyond proud of the exceptional young man he has become and I know it has nothing to do with how great I am but more about a decision I made to surrender my life to God all those years ago. He is going to be a world changer. I just know it and I am so excited to see what his future holds!

I’d love to hear your story so please share in the comments below or shoot me an email. Also, please feel free to share my story with anyone you know who you think might be touched in a positive way by it.

Sincere thanks & blessings,
Donna Joy West 

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